PETER FUNK

Greetings from your future President and tremendous leader, Peter Funk. I have been working harder than anyone ever has to clean up this mess in Washington (#sad). From my humble beginnings as a child televangelist hailing from the Mennonite community of Rhineland to my rise in becoming the next President of the United States, I offer my vision and wisdom to you, the American People. Do not listen to #FAKENEWS! Rest easy and eat as much meat as you can and when you wake up know that I will be GETTING THE JOB DONE and MAKING AMERICA #1!